The Way I See It - Men Speak
The Way I See It
By: Doug Dickerson/Staff Writer
07/11/2006
Last week in The Way I See It, I delved into the world of women-speak. My wife found it quite amusing that I would dare tackle such an issue by asking, "What makes you qualified to write about that?" Outnumbered in my home 3 to 1, excluding the cat, I feel I have gained some life experience into the world of women-speak.
This week, however, the tables are turned and I will direct my thoughts to the women out there who sometimes scratch their heads and wonder just what in the heck men are talking about. I believe most of the misunderstandings are lost in translation. If you have ever traveled to a foreign country, you know that how you enunciate your words, tone and inflection, for example, can make a world of difference. I think many times what is happening, despite the best of efforts, is a failure to see the simplicity of what is being communicated. If just one relationship can be saved, it will be worth it. It's really simple once you get the hang of it:
"I'm going fishing" - Translated: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and sit in a boat with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim in complete safety.
"It's a guy thing" - Translated: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.
"Uh huh, sure honey." or "Yes Dear" - Translated: Means absolutely nothing - it is a conditioned response.
"Take a break honey, you're working too hard" - Translated: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are" - Translated: No human will ever find us alive again!
"You look terrific" Translated: Oh God, please don't try on any more clothes!
"I heard you" - Translated: I have no idea what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't find out.
"That's interesting dear" - Translated: Oh, you are still talking.
"It would take too long to explain" - Translated: I haven't the foggiest.
"I dunno...I was just thinking about you, and when I saw the roses I just thought you'd like them." - Translated: The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.
"Oh don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal." - Translated: I've severed a limb, but I'll bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.
"You know I could never love anyone else." - Translated: I am used to the way you yell at me, and I realize it could be worse.
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." - Translated: $50 and it doesn't look that much different.
The world of men-speak is not that complicated. Recognizing our differences goes to the heart of the relationship. Learning to agree with her, however, makes all the difference in the world!
©Summerville Journal-Scene 2006
By: Doug Dickerson/Staff Writer
07/11/2006
Last week in The Way I See It, I delved into the world of women-speak. My wife found it quite amusing that I would dare tackle such an issue by asking, "What makes you qualified to write about that?" Outnumbered in my home 3 to 1, excluding the cat, I feel I have gained some life experience into the world of women-speak.
This week, however, the tables are turned and I will direct my thoughts to the women out there who sometimes scratch their heads and wonder just what in the heck men are talking about. I believe most of the misunderstandings are lost in translation. If you have ever traveled to a foreign country, you know that how you enunciate your words, tone and inflection, for example, can make a world of difference. I think many times what is happening, despite the best of efforts, is a failure to see the simplicity of what is being communicated. If just one relationship can be saved, it will be worth it. It's really simple once you get the hang of it:
"I'm going fishing" - Translated: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and sit in a boat with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim in complete safety.
"It's a guy thing" - Translated: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.
"Uh huh, sure honey." or "Yes Dear" - Translated: Means absolutely nothing - it is a conditioned response.
"Take a break honey, you're working too hard" - Translated: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are" - Translated: No human will ever find us alive again!
"You look terrific" Translated: Oh God, please don't try on any more clothes!
"I heard you" - Translated: I have no idea what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't find out.
"That's interesting dear" - Translated: Oh, you are still talking.
"It would take too long to explain" - Translated: I haven't the foggiest.
"I dunno...I was just thinking about you, and when I saw the roses I just thought you'd like them." - Translated: The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.
"Oh don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal." - Translated: I've severed a limb, but I'll bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.
"You know I could never love anyone else." - Translated: I am used to the way you yell at me, and I realize it could be worse.
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." - Translated: $50 and it doesn't look that much different.
The world of men-speak is not that complicated. Recognizing our differences goes to the heart of the relationship. Learning to agree with her, however, makes all the difference in the world!
©Summerville Journal-Scene 2006
posted by Doug Dickerson | 7:53 PM
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