The Way I See It - If you can't find it; grind it
The Way I See It - If you can't find it; grind it
By Doug Dickerson
Staff Writer
January 24, 2007
Confucius says man who drives like hell bound to get there
In my lifetime, I’ve had the opportunity to teach several people to drive. The most recent person was my teenage daughter, who continues to do just fine depending on where she is going; there are times I wonder if I will ever see her again due to her DAL (driving around lost) disorder. That however, is a topic for another column.
The other day, the wife and I were out for a ride and she told me that she would like to learn how to drive the truck, which is a stick shift. After we had completed our round of stops, I took her to a spacious, unoccupied parking lot to get the lessons started. I figured we needed as much distance between our truck and any other parked vehicle or pedestrians as we could provide, just in case.
Alli got behind the wheel but her feet barely reached the pedals. After adjusting the seat so that my knees were in the dash, I commenced to teach her how to drive a stick shift.
I walked Alli through the idea of easing off the clutch while pressing on the gas to get things moving. With one hand on the wheel, one on the gearshift, one foot on the gas, and another on the clutch, it was forward - whiplash - stop - forward - whiplash…well, you get the idea. Despite the whole eye, hand, foot coordination challenge, and the occasional whiplash, we wheeled our way around the parking lot.
Danika Patrick she is not, but after a few laps, we were both pleased with her progress. I was not sure other drivers were ready to share the road with her, but I told her since she was feeling so good about things, she could drive us home. Ten minutes later we pulled up to the house, she felt 16 again, and I was just glad to feel blood circulating in my legs again.
Men, before you commence to knocking women drivers, or expressing your frustrations with them on the road, allow me to share this observation with you. I don’t know who wrote the following, but take it to heart.
“I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on the shoulder. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung out his window and flipped the woman off. "Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I always smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why.
I drive 38 miles each day to work. That's 76 miles round trip and of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8-lane highway. So, if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass another car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31, 424 cars. Even though the rest of the 34 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36, 000 cars I pass every day. Statistically half of these are driven by females, that's 18, 000. In any given group of females, one in 28 is having the worst day of their period. That is 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70 percent of women describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding, that's 449. According to the National Institutes of Health, 22 percent of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide, that's 98. In addition, 34 percent describe men as their biggest problem, that's 33. According to the National Rifle Association, 5 percent of all females carry weapons, and the number is increasing.
That means, that every single day, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period, and is armed.
No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn't dream of flipping her off.”
©Summerville Journal-Scene 2007
By Doug Dickerson
Staff Writer
January 24, 2007
Confucius says man who drives like hell bound to get there
In my lifetime, I’ve had the opportunity to teach several people to drive. The most recent person was my teenage daughter, who continues to do just fine depending on where she is going; there are times I wonder if I will ever see her again due to her DAL (driving around lost) disorder. That however, is a topic for another column.
The other day, the wife and I were out for a ride and she told me that she would like to learn how to drive the truck, which is a stick shift. After we had completed our round of stops, I took her to a spacious, unoccupied parking lot to get the lessons started. I figured we needed as much distance between our truck and any other parked vehicle or pedestrians as we could provide, just in case.
Alli got behind the wheel but her feet barely reached the pedals. After adjusting the seat so that my knees were in the dash, I commenced to teach her how to drive a stick shift.
I walked Alli through the idea of easing off the clutch while pressing on the gas to get things moving. With one hand on the wheel, one on the gearshift, one foot on the gas, and another on the clutch, it was forward - whiplash - stop - forward - whiplash…well, you get the idea. Despite the whole eye, hand, foot coordination challenge, and the occasional whiplash, we wheeled our way around the parking lot.
Danika Patrick she is not, but after a few laps, we were both pleased with her progress. I was not sure other drivers were ready to share the road with her, but I told her since she was feeling so good about things, she could drive us home. Ten minutes later we pulled up to the house, she felt 16 again, and I was just glad to feel blood circulating in my legs again.
Men, before you commence to knocking women drivers, or expressing your frustrations with them on the road, allow me to share this observation with you. I don’t know who wrote the following, but take it to heart.
“I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on the shoulder. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung out his window and flipped the woman off. "Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I always smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why.
I drive 38 miles each day to work. That's 76 miles round trip and of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8-lane highway. So, if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass another car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31, 424 cars. Even though the rest of the 34 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36, 000 cars I pass every day. Statistically half of these are driven by females, that's 18, 000. In any given group of females, one in 28 is having the worst day of their period. That is 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70 percent of women describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding, that's 449. According to the National Institutes of Health, 22 percent of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide, that's 98. In addition, 34 percent describe men as their biggest problem, that's 33. According to the National Rifle Association, 5 percent of all females carry weapons, and the number is increasing.
That means, that every single day, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period, and is armed.
No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn't dream of flipping her off.”
©Summerville Journal-Scene 2007
posted by Doug Dickerson | 6:39 AM
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