The Way I See It

Here you will find a collection of my columns which originally appeared in The Berkeley Independent (www.berkeleyind.com). I write about family, cutlure, politics, society and gernerally anything else that I find amsuing.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

The Way I See It - In case you missed it

In case you missed it
By Doug Dickerson

What's done to children, they will do to society

- Karl Menninger

In case you missed it... last week, the Portland, Maine School Committee approved a plan that allows the health center of King Middle School to provide birth control pills and patches to sixth grade students. Yes, I said sixth grade! The services that are provided do not require parental notification, in fact, parental notification is outlawed. From what I have read, under Maine state law, once a parent has signed a waiver allowing a child to be treated at a school clinic in case of sickness or injury, specific treatment is "confidential." Students then decide for themselves whether to tell their parents about the services they receive....little by little, your parental rights are being taken away from you.

In case you missed it... last week, the Associated Press reported the findings of 2,500 cases over five years in which educators were punished for actions from bizarre to sadistic. The seven-month investigation found 2,570 educators whose teaching credentials were revoked, denied, surrendered or sanctioned from 2001 through 2005 following allegations of sexual misconduct. Young people were the victims in at least 1,801 of the cases, and more than eighty percent of them were students. At least half the educators who were punished by their states were also convicted of crimes related to their misconduct... you had better pay attention to who is teaching your child.

In case you missed it...last week, a teaching assistant at Stall High School was arrested, charged with three counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor for allegedly having sexual relations with a 16-year old student. The teacher will not face charges in connection with any sexual encounter because in South Carolina the age of consent is 16...our laws should punish predators, not protect them.

In case you missed it...we are in the midst of a culture war in our society. A battle is under way for the hearts and minds of our children and we must remain vigilant. I would simply remind us that our classrooms are not social experiment labs as is the case in Maine. Why would a school district distribute birth control products to sixth graders without parental consent and think that they have the best interest of the child at heart when what they do deliberately subverts the authority of the parent?

Is there anyone besides me who thinks that our laws are broken when a teaching assistant in a local school will not be charged in connection with a sexual encounter because our law says that 16 is the age of consent? When laws facilitate criminal activity; especially with our children, instead of punishing it, something is desperately wrong.

The overwhelming majority of the teachers and workers in our schools are good, gifted, hard-working, caring individuals. The dedication I see in them is an inspiration. Each week I have the privilege of being in one of our local public schools somewhere in the county. It's one of the highlights of the week when I go and see first hand the wonderful job they are doing. I come away from the visits inspired and encouraged by the faithful dedication of the many wonderful teachers, guidance counselors, principals, and support staff who daily commit themselves to the education of our children. Berkeley County is blessed to have these devoted, caring educators in our schools.

Someone once said that the philosophy of the schoolroom in one generation will be the philosophy of the government in the next. It's time as parents to be proactive and know what is happening in the lives of our most cherished possession, our children, and that the sacred trust is not violated. I just thought you might like to know these things, just in case you missed it.

Doug can be reached at editor@berkeleyind.com or you can call him at 843-761-6397.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

The Way I See It

The lighter side of grief
By Doug Dickerson

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

-Tom Lehrer

My mother recently shared a humorous story with me that occurred in the aftermath of my father's death. I share this not to be disrespectful of my father, whom I loved dearly, but because my dad would appreciate the humor of what happened.

Dad had a great sense of humor, a natural way of putting others at ease, and always enjoyed a good laugh. I loved dad dearly, and miss him terribly, and I suppose sharing my thoughts with you is cheaper than therapy.

Mom called the local department of motor vehicle office back home to ask what she needed to do about changing the name on the title of her car. An attendant answered and the conversation began. "My husband died and I need to know what to do about changing the names on the title. I need to take his name off the title," she explained.

Of all the requests that come into any DMV office, this request seemed simple and uncomplicated. "You will need to bring him in and have him sign the paper to transfer the title into your name," said the woman on the other end of the phone. Obviously, she did not grasp the impossibility of the request and certainly underestimated with whom she was dealing.

Not missing a beat, mom kept her composure and began again. "Let's begin this conversation over because evidently you did not hear me, my husband died...," she explained once again. The second time was the charm and what should have been simple the first time became clear.

A few years back mom was entangled with another scenario when a doctor's office from a town 100 miles away called to explain how they had received Medicare payments on her behalf for eye services she had not received. The doctor's office knew that she hadn't been there, mom knew it too. Yet the good folks at Medicare insisted she had. Back to the phone my mom went. Mom made futile attempts to convince the folks at Medicare that everyone but they knew that she'd never been a patient at this doctor's office. Medicare insisted she had been. "Ma'am, we are the United States government and we do not make mistakes," said the voice on the other end of the phone. Eventually mom convinced the United States Government otherwise. The government's record of not making a mistake was broken with her. If only they had gone to that eye doctor, they would have seen that one coming.

Knowing what we want to communicate and successfully doing it, at times, are two different things. One of the things I learned from my dad was that more words are not necessarily better, and it's not always what you say but how you say it that matters.

Dad not only learned the secret to a happy and contented life, he also shared it. His words were a reflection of his heart and his heart was full of love, kindness, laughter, and faith.

I could imagine dad listening in on mom's conversation with the woman at the department of motor vehicles and thinking how funny it was.

Not a day goes by that I don't see or hear something funny and not think, "Dad would love this," or when I am stressed out over something, knowing I could talk it over with him and come away knowing that everything was going to be fine. That was just his way.

The next time I am in line at the DMV, I'll be thinking of him, I'm sure he will be smiling!

Doug can be reached at editor@berkeleyind.com

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