The Way I See It - Is Santa a woman or a man?

The Way I See It
By Doug Dickerson
Staff Writer
November 29, 2006

The Christmas season is upon us and the dash is on to get the perfect gift for that special someone. Children have made their lists and Santa will not rest until every child has that coveted new toy.
I recently came across this rather amusing description of who Santa is, perhaps you have seen it too, but wanted to share with my readers. Enjoy!

Santa Claus is a woman because:
* The vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve and only go for a last-minute shopping spree.
* For a he-Santa, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped onto the rear bumper of the sleigh.
* Even if the male Santa did have reindeer, he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
* For a Santa man, there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repaint bricks in the flue.
* He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.
* Men can't pack a bag.
* Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
* Men would feel their masculinity is threatened having to be seen with all those elves.
* Men don't answer their mail.
* Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
* Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
* Having to do the 'Ho Ho Ho' thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
* Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

Santa Claus is undoubtedly a man because:
* Santa doesn't deliver his presents on the Friday after Thanksgiving when the malls are open for 20 hours. Christmas Eve deliveries prove Mr. Claus to be a man.
* Santa's reindeer is so drunk that his nose glows as his navigator. A woman would never let out those cute deer to work on Christmas Eve due to the cold or perhaps would dress them in sweaters and booties.
* Only a male Santa can ignore 'fashion' and wear the same suit for 500 years.
* Santa has never been known to answer a letter.
* Women aren't interested in stockings unless someone better looking than them is wearing them.
* As many presents as Santa delivers, he has no trouble with babes.
* Only men have the ability to stay up for 24 hours straight in the cold with a bunch of mangy deer going up and down soot-infested chimneys.
* A woman would never even think of going down a chimney and risk staining that red velvet.
* Commitment requires that Christmas be on the same day each year. A female Santa would delay Christmas until she can touch up her makeup and do her hair after leaving each house.


©Summerville Journal-Scene 2006

The Way I See It - Away from the manger

The Way I See It - Away from the manger
by Doug Dickerson
Staff Writer
November 22, 2006

Christmas music began playing in the office last week. Bah,humbug! Yes, I like Christmas music, but it’s not supposed to be played until after Thanksgiving. Any more, it’s hard to live in the moment of any one given holiday before the next one is thrust upon us with all sorts of marketing ploys. Nevertheless, I digress.

Last week the Town Council of Mt. Pleasant voted to change the name of the annual holiday parade to – are you ready for this? – the Christmas Parade. What a novel idea! Then, we heard from Dot Scott, the president of the Charleston branch of the NAACP, who believes that there are not enough black Santas. According to Scott, “I believe the kids need to understand that good things come in black, too.”

In recent years, the legal intimidation and assault on Christmas has reached epic proportions. In one school, green and red napkins were forbidden at school parties – only white ones allowed, because of a parental complaint. Apparently, they missed the concept that white is symbolic of holy purity. Ooops!

In Texas a couple years back, children were not allowed to distribute candy canes to classmates. Four families sued, accusing the school district of violating the Constitution with “continual efforts to ban Christmas.” It took a federal district judge to allow students to distribute “religious viewpoint gifts” at December (not Christmas) parties. The school district responded by saying it “fosters acceptance of all cultures” (really!) and welcomes celebrations of diversity at parties. Isn’t it ironic that schools now have Winter breaks instead of Christmas breaks in December?

Whether in your tradition you say Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Happy Holidays or nothing at all, why can’t we all just be happy for the other?

How did we get to the point that two simple words can cause such a disruption of a holiday that is supposed to be based on peace, good will to men (not just to Christians), and redemption?

A major reason why is due to the politically correct police. They claim tolerance and acceptance, but have demonstrated little tolerance or acceptance of anyone’s viewpoint other than their own. In doing so, they have indoctrinated society with the dogma of inclusion and equality. The new definitions of these words mean that everything is identical and everyone must be included in everything. If not, then whatever is at issue must be eliminated or watered-down. As the flawed logic goes, since not everyone celebrates Christmas, then change it – no longer have a Christmas parade, have a holiday parade. No longer do you have a Christmas tree, it’s a holiday tree. You can no longer give Christmas gifts, they are “religious viewpoint gifts.” Where does this madness end?

Support for the traditional practice and celebration of Christmas came from an unlikely source last week. Earlier this year, the Archbishop of Canterbury formed the Christian Muslim Forum, a group of Muslim and Christian leaders. Last week they spoke out against politicians and town halls that play down Christmas. A number of town halls in England have tried to excise referrals to Christianity from Christmas, in one case by renaming their municipal celebrations “Winterval.” However, the Muslim leaders said they honored Christmas and that local authorities were playing into the hands of extremists who were able to blame Muslim communities for undermining Britain’s Christian culture. A statement released by the forum said, “Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus and we wish this significant part of the Christian heritage of this country to remain an acknowledged part of national life. The desire to secularize religious festivals is offensive to both our communities.”

In Britain, the traditional celebration of Christmas is being defended by Muslims, who see that the attack of one person’s faith and tradition is a threat to us all. We must not allow extremists, in the name of equality, to hijack our tradition simply because they do not like it. I support the right of extremists not to celebrate Christmas, but not their intention to deprive me of my practice of doing so. We must see the big picture here. It’s not about Santa being black or white, having a holiday parade or a Christmas parade. The true spirit of Christmas is larger than a symbol; it’s about peace on earth, good will towards people.

Merry Christmas!

©Summerville Journal-Scene 2006

The Way I See It - Elections show time for change

Election shows time for change
By Doug Dickerson
Staff Writer
Novermber 14, 2006


Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.
-Frank Herbert

Well, it’s finally over. The 2006 election is now history and whether your candidate or political party won or lost, we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief that we do not have to see or hear any more commercials on TV or on the radio. Do you think the campaign signs will be removed as fast as they were being removed or stolen during the campaign? Yeah, right!
As a self-diagnosed political junkie, I will offer up some thoughts as to what has happened nationally and locally in the elections.

On the national scene, the Democrats have won both houses of Congress. The Republican Revolution inspired by Reagan and brought into reality by Newt Gingrich in 1994, took a “thumping” as President Bush said. The guiding principles of the 1994 revolution were clearly abandoned. I believe it’s not so much that the Democrats won as much as it is that the Republicans lost. The Democrats did not have to offer up an agenda or platform to pull off the victory. The Republicans made it unnecessary. Under current Republican leadership, the size of the federal government has doubled; discretionary spending has doubled while President Bush’s veto pen remained dry; bridges to nowhere were built, nothing was done about illegal immigration; and then of course there is Iraq.

The Republicans were their own worst enemy by allowing the Democrats to win without an agenda. The Democratic victory was really America saying, “ We’ve had enough.” With the Republicans we knew what we had. Now the Democrats must put forth a plan and it had better be a good one. The American people are fed up with the way things are and if the Democrats can’t produce, they will be voted out in 2008 as well.

On the local level, voter turnout this past Tuesday was an impressive 43 percent countywide. Of 78,043 registered voters, 33,740 voted. Big changes are now on the way for the Berkeley County School Board. District 2 elected Dan Kingsbury to replace Francis Brewer, District 4 elected Jimmy Hinson to replace Harriett Dangerfield and District 6 elected Terry Hardesty to replace Kathleen Bounds. Incumbent Frank Wright held off Rob Constantinou in District 8. The level of interest in the school board elections was reflective of the strong number of people who are passionate about the future of our children. In the end, the message of change and dissatisfaction over tax increases prompted voters to change course.

Dan Davis will be the next Supervisor for Berkeley County. The long and sometimes contentious campaign season from the primaries to the general election is now behind us and it’s time look ahead with expectation and hope that Berkeley County will continue to move forward with fresh new ideas.

I listened to Dan Davis speak at Cypress Gardens Tuesday evening as he shared his hopes and vision for the future of Berkeley County. Without notes or prepared remarks, Dan spoke passionately about his vision to open up County Government, expressed his desires for improving staff relations and reaching out to other government entities, such as the Berkeley County School District. I applaud his desires and trust that as he acts on those intentions, others will embrace this new spirit of cooperation, and that a new era of Berkeley County government will emerge under his leadership.

Finally, the county owes a debt of gratitude to Jim Rozier for all that he has done to improve Berkeley County and the impact that he made during his tenure as Supervisor. The growth and creation of jobs under his leadership has brought Berkeley County a long way in the past 16 years.

Regardless of whom you voted for, it’s time to set aside personal differences and work together for the entire County, not just a select few. We must embrace causes that are greater than ourselves and realize that one person alone cannot accomplish nearly as much as when we all work together.

©Summerville Journal-Scene 2006