The Way I See It - Therapy, the Dr. Seuss method

The Way I See It

By: Doug Dickerson/Staff Writer
08/30/2006

I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living; It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
- Dr.Seuss

Life with the wife, two daughters and a cat certainly has its fill of challenges and amusement. I can't rightfully vouch for the normalcy of this life, and not being willing to shell out the money for an afternoon session with a psychiatrist; I did the next best thing. After much research, I found what I was sure to be a suitable test entitled, "Which Dr. Seuss character are you?"

The format is easy, with five simple questions to respond to: (1) What is your outlook on the world? (2) What do you think of your friends? (3) What are your problem solving skills? (4) What is your long-term goal? (5) Where would you most like to be? After carefully answering my questions, according to the results, I am most like Mr. Brown: "Observant and involved, there is little that escapes your notice. You absorb it all, and make sense of it, thought sometimes a bit noisily."

I must admit, I had mixed reviews of my diagnosis. I usually do absorb it all, but making sense of it is a different story. Again, I live with the wife and two daughters; there is just no way to make sense of a lot that I observe.

After my diagnosis by Seuss, I felt that perhaps the rest of the family should subject themselves to the same therapy; after all, being the observant one that I am, I figured they needed the test more than I did.

First up, the wife, who upon completion of the test is most like the Lorax: "Protective of the environment, you are the champion of the downtrodden, feeling the pain of those around you."

I was a bit amused that the character that she is most like is a bird! I couldn't help but laugh as I remembered our dating years when we were feeding the ducks at a pond one afternoon. A goose became quite upset with her when she ran out of bread. I watched the angry bird give chase to my future wife who eventually was goosed in the posterior! Feeling others' pain is a character trait she has rightfully earned, especially in marriage.

My oldest daughter and I were lumped in the same category, Mr. Brown. To be sure, there is little that escapes her notice; her keen eye and attentiveness is usually geared towards price tags in the stores where she shops. I am not sure what the record is for the most purses or shoes owned by a teenager, but I am convinced she comes close to the record. While this behavior is not uncommon in teenage girls, the reinforcement she receives from her mother and her Aunt (whom I am sure is a Mr. Brown also), only makes matters worse.

Finally, my youngest, the life of the party, is diagnosed as The Cat in the Hat: "Independent and imaginative, you're the risk-taker, even if it means being a little noisy."

I am convinced that every family should have at least one "Cat in the Hat" just for sanity's sake.

If family life could be characterized by Dr. Seuss book titles, some days life at home might be like, "If I ran the zoo," other days perhaps, "I am not going to get up today," and certainly some days would be like, "If I ran the circus." Given the spirit and laughter that the youngest brings, most days she makes me reach for the book "Did I ever tell you how lucky you are?"

If nonsense wakes up brain cells as Dr. Seuss claims, then I suppose I am about as awake as anyone can be. Our cast of characters will carry on under the watchful eye of Riley our cat, whose favorite book is "One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish."


©Summerville Journal-Scene 2006

The Way I See It - Men Speak

The Way I See It
By: Doug Dickerson/Staff Writer
07/11/2006

Last week in The Way I See It, I delved into the world of women-speak. My wife found it quite amusing that I would dare tackle such an issue by asking, "What makes you qualified to write about that?" Outnumbered in my home 3 to 1, excluding the cat, I feel I have gained some life experience into the world of women-speak.
This week, however, the tables are turned and I will direct my thoughts to the women out there who sometimes scratch their heads and wonder just what in the heck men are talking about. I believe most of the misunderstandings are lost in translation. If you have ever traveled to a foreign country, you know that how you enunciate your words, tone and inflection, for example, can make a world of difference. I think many times what is happening, despite the best of efforts, is a failure to see the simplicity of what is being communicated. If just one relationship can be saved, it will be worth it. It's really simple once you get the hang of it:
"I'm going fishing" - Translated: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and sit in a boat with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim in complete safety.
"It's a guy thing" - Translated: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.
"Uh huh, sure honey." or "Yes Dear" - Translated: Means absolutely nothing - it is a conditioned response.
"Take a break honey, you're working too hard" - Translated: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are" - Translated: No human will ever find us alive again!
"You look terrific" Translated: Oh God, please don't try on any more clothes!
"I heard you" - Translated: I have no idea what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't find out.
"That's interesting dear" - Translated: Oh, you are still talking.
"It would take too long to explain" - Translated: I haven't the foggiest.
"I dunno...I was just thinking about you, and when I saw the roses I just thought you'd like them." - Translated: The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.
"Oh don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal." - Translated: I've severed a limb, but I'll bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.
"You know I could never love anyone else." - Translated: I am used to the way you yell at me, and I realize it could be worse.
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." - Translated: $50 and it doesn't look that much different.
The world of men-speak is not that complicated. Recognizing our differences goes to the heart of the relationship. Learning to agree with her, however, makes all the difference in the world!

©Summerville Journal-Scene 2006

The Way I See It - Pray For Peace

The Way I See It
By: Doug Dickerson/Staff Writer
07/25/2006

The newest conflict that has erupted in Israel and Lebanon has many wondering if this is not the beginning of World War III. This major escalation certainly has many worried and concerned.
As one who has traveled to Israel and has been to many of the sights seen on the nightly news, I too am watching the situation closely. Israel is a beautiful country and I hold many fond memories of my time there. I am by no means an expert on Middle East policy, but offer my thoughts and views in light of these new tensions.
As a democratic republic, governed under a parliamentary system, I believe Israel has every right, indeed the moral authority, to defend itself. The present conflict with the Hezbollah militia is a conflict of choice by Hezbollah and one which the Lebanese government is essentially powerless to stop. Hezbollah is a governmental and military Shia, Islamic group. Hezbollah, inspired by the Iranian Revolution, hold seats in the Lebanese parliament. Hezbollah is recognized by Syria and Iran as a legitimate resistance movement. The United States, Great Britain, and Canada list Hezbollah as a "terrorist" organization. The European Union does not list Hezbollah as a terrorist organization but does recognize its leader, Hassan Nasrallah, as a terrorist.Many Lebanese people view Hezbollah favorably due to their humanitarian work of building schools, hospitals and clinics.
In recent days, we have seen the mainstream media try to place a gentler, softer face on Hezbollah noting their so-called humanitarian efforts. Nonetheless, if Hezbollah were to lay down their arms today, there would be peace. If Israel were to lay down their arms today, there would be continued bloodshed.
Certainly not all the Lebanese people fall into the category of terrorists. I understand there are more peace-loving Lebanese people than otherwise. Understandably, the vast majority of Lebanese and Israeli people want to live in peace, raise their families, work and lead normal lives. However, one must identify Hezbollah for what they are. In 1983, Hezbollah bombed the Marine barracks in Beirut, killing 230 U.S. Marines. They bombed the replacement U.S. Embassy in Beirut in 1984. In 1985, Hezbollah hijacked TWA flight 847 en route from Athens to Rome. Hezbollah stands accused of many more terrorist activities around the world. Presently, the FBI is searching for Hezbollah sleeper cells in our own country. World leaders gathered in Russia last week for the G-8 Summit. Most leaders called for restraint, not on the part of the known terrorist group Hezbollah, but on the part of Israel. U.N. Secretary-General Koffi Annan has called for an immediate cease-fire. But whom does the cease-fire ultimately help? With over 13,000 Hezbollah missiles aimed at Israel, the cease-fire only helps Hezbollah, and the ability of Israel to rightfully defend itself is compromised.
Imagine with me for a moment that Cuba has launched a series of rocket attacks on Miami, or that France or Germany has come under an intense missile attack that was killing their people and threatening their sovereignty. Can one rightfully expect the U.S, Germany or France to practice restraint while being annihilated by such an attack? Clearly, Israel has a right to defend itself and I believe must use the force they see necessary to defend their sovereign right to exist as a nation. Tragically, in any conflict such as this, innocent people are victims. Even now, we see the images of those fleeing Lebanon, escaping the horrors of war. However, let us not forget what is at stake. Hezbollah, with the backing of Iran and Syria (and the passivity of Lebanon), fights for the destruction of the very way of life we know. Israel fights only for its survival. Pray for the peace of Jerusalem.

©Summerville Journal-Scene 2006

Fatherhood is the greatest gift

Fatherhood is the greatest gift
By: Doug Dickerson
06/16/2006

I stood in the studios of a photographer last week as my oldest daughter was being photographed for her high school senior pictures. There she was all grown up and looking as pretty as ever. As quickly as the camera flashed her pictures my mind flashed back to the day she was born. After 36 hours of labor for my wife, countless sodas for me and a few baseball games on TV she came into and forever changed my world.I recall some disappointed visitors to the hospital nursery when they came by to see her. Being the attentive Dad that I was, I recalled the nurse telling us that we were free to come get her anytime we wanted from the nursery. Therefore, I did just that. Several frightened and alarmed nurses quickly reminded me that I did have to notify them first.
One day a few months later my wife called me at the office and asked if I would be so kind as to pick up some rice cereal for the baby on the way home for lunch. Naturally, there was nothing I wouldn't do for my baby girl. Browsing the aisle in the supermarket, I looked intently for the rice cereal. As you would expect, there were many selections, but for my tastes and certainly for that of my new daughter I found the perfect choice. Proud to be of help to my wife and to bring home some rice cereal for my little one; I was a bit puzzled by the look on my wife's face when I gave it to her. Besides being too big to make it through the nipple of the bottle, Popeye's Puffed Rice cereal was just too big for our little baby!
Amazingly, both of my girls have managed to survive the trials and ordeals of my Fatherhood experience. There have certainly been bumps along the way but never a dull moment - like the observation my youngest made not too long ago as I was cooking dinner, "Dad, we have a fire!"
The other day I bumped into my ole friend Fred. Fred is retired from the mill and likes to hang out in the lobby of the bank to escape the elements and to enjoy a few minutes away from the "little woman" at home when her bridge club meets. Fred observed that the greatest thing he ever did was to raise three daughters. "Nothing will make a man out of you quicker than to raise girls. It's certainly not for the faint of heart," he said. As one who blazed that trail long before I did, I took comfort in his words.
Ernest Hemingway once observed, "To be a successful father, there's one absolute rule: When you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years." However, by not doing so, one would miss the beauty of what being a Father is all about - joy.I've had the joy of seeing through the eyes of my girls a kinder world, shared in a lot of laughter, love, and have been encouraged about the future. Overall, I think they have done a great job raising their Dad. Thanks girls!

©Summerville Journal-Scene 2006

The Way I See It - Let's Talk

The Way I See It - Permítanos discurso - Let's talk
By: Doug Dickerson/Staff Writer
08/02/2006

" If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world'Ludwig Wittgenstein

Escucho con un montón de diversión a las discusiones de lo que hacer acerca del asunto de la inmigración - I listen with a great deal of amusement to the discussions of what to do about the immigration issue. Hay los que insisten que una vez inmigrantes vengan en América que ellos comienzan inmediatamente a hablar inglés.There are those who insist that once immigrants come into America they immediately begin to speak English.Mientras concuerdo que eso hablando inglés debe ser una prioridad para esas venida en nuestro país, toma generalmente más que un día para aprender.While I agree that speaking English ought to be a priority for those coming into our country, it generally takes more than a day to learn.
Escuché el horror el otro día a un senador del estado en un noticiario local de la televisión. Cuando escuché, yo no podría ayudar pero podría pensar acerca de los que insisten que inmigrantes hablen inglés tan pronto como ellos entran nuestro país. Todavía en televisión viva era un funcionario elegido que tuvo apenas la orden del idioma inglés él mismo.I listened in horror the other day to a State Senator on a local television newscast. As I listened, I couldn't help but think about those who insist that immigrants speak English as soon as they enter our country. Yet on live television was an elected official who barely had command of the English language himself.
Imagínese que usted ha empacado la familia para vacaciones y ha quitado a Francia, o a algún recurso en México o quizás usted ha decidido ir ve las pirámides de Egipto. Inmediatamente a desembarcar del avión, usted está prohibido comunicar en inglés, pero sólo en la lengua nativa. ¿Cómo haría usted?Imagine that you have packed up the family for summer vacation and have taken off to France, or some resort in Mexico or perhaps you have decided to go see the pyramids of Egypt. Immediately upon disembarking from the airplane, you are forbidden to communicate in English, but only in the native tongue. How would you do?
Para ser justo, yo no haría bien cualquiera. He viajado a países extranjeros y sé entrega primero los desafíos de adaptar a una cultura desconocida sin una orden del idioma hablado. Concuerdo que el asunto de la inmigración se debe resolver. Sin embargo, nosotros necesitamos demostrar la compasión para los que trabajan para adaptar duramente a su nuevo estilo de vida y ha escogido asimilar en nuestra sociedad la manera apropiada.To be fair, I would not do well either. I have traveled to foreign countries and know first hand the challenges of adapting to an unknown culture without a command of the spoken language. I agree the immigration issue must be resolved. However, we need to demonstrate compassion for those who are working hard to adapt to their new way of life and have chosen to assimilate into our society the proper way.
América es sinceramente el crisol del mundo, y millón de inmigrantes han contribuido a la grandeza de nuestro país. La belleza de nuestra diversidad es el reconocimiento de las culturas que nos hacen uno. Sí, creo que inglés debe ser el idioma oficial de América. Mi esperanza sin embargo, es que fuera de muchos idiomas, viene una voz y el mensaje - el mensaje de la esperanza y la oportunidad.America truly is the melting pot of the world, and millions of immigrants have contributed to the greatness of our country. The beauty of our diversity is the recognition of the cultures that make us one. Yes, I believe English should be the official language of America. My hope however, is that out of many languages, comes one voice and message - the message of hope and opportunity.

©Summerville Journal-Scene 2006

The Way I See It - The way it was

The Way I See It
By: Doug Dickerson/Staff Writer
08/08/2006

The long hot days of summer will soon give way to every parent's celebration of the return to school. Wide-eyed children will cross the threshold of our esteemed schools, as the lazy days of summer quickly become a distant memory. As I have been anticipating this upcoming momentous day, I was reminded through an email from my dear mother what it was like in years gone by. The children we have raised today are a far cry from the children raised in days gone by. Mom forwarded this very timely and revealing look back at the way it was.
To all the kids who were born in the 1930s, 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s - congratulations! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.As children, we would ride in cars with no seatbelts or airbags. Riding in the back of a pick up truck was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we were not overweight because we were always outside playing!We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on. No one was able to reach us all day, and we were OK. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes.We did not have Playstations, Nintendos, X-boxes, no video games, no 99 channels on cable, no cell phones, no personal computers, no internet...we had friends and we went outside and found them!We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, and we made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.We rode our bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them. Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with the disappointment. Imagine that! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. If you are one of us, congratulations!
©Summerville Journal-Scene 2006

The Way I See It - Here's Your (stupid) pill

The Way I See It - Here's your (stupid) pill
By: Doug Dickerson/Staff Writer
08/23/2006

Thanks to a German scientist, there is potentially new hope on the horizon for stupid people. As the report goes, a scientist has been testing an "anti-stupidity" pill with encouraging results on mice and fruit flies. According to the Bild newspaper, Hans-Hilger Ropers, director at Max-Planck-Institute for Molecular Genetics in Berlin, has tested a pill thwarting hyperactivity in certain brain nerve cells, helping stabilize short-term memory and improve attentiveness.
This encouraging news can't come soon enough as far as I am concerned. I don't want to be critical, but as a casual observer, there seems to be an abundance these days of stupid people. If simply taking a pill can reduce the population of the stupid, then I think we should give it a try. One of the pitfalls of this idea though is that the stupid people who need the pill are...well, too stupid to know they need it. This obstacle however, can be overcome by the charity of those who encounter the stupid.
One recommendation I read suggested we make signs. Stupid people should have to wear a sign that says, "I'm Stupid." This way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign." This however, is where the opportunity for kindness kicks in. As opposed to being mean to the stupid person, you could actually do something to help. With the new anti-stupidity pill, you could kindly offer the stupid person a sample or two.
As for the short-term memory component of the research, I am thrilled with the possibility of a breakthrough. Nowhere could such research be more helpful than in the realm of grocery shopping.My wife hates to grocery shop and usually only goes under duress. However, in the grand scheme of things I suppose this is good for obvious reasons. A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits until the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on the Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.
I was in Wal Mart with my girls the other day and in passing I made the observation to my youngest that I needed shampoo. I didn't say it for her benefit, but rather mine. The way I figured it, if I told her, perhaps she could remind me later that I needed it. However, Kara couldn't care less if I need shampoo and as a result of my (in)attentive shopping, I left the store with toothpaste instead. It's just a thought, but I could have used one of those anti stupidity pills as I made my way through the store that day.
The distribution of the anti stupidity pill would be easy to handle. The friendly greeter at the entrance to the store, after asking the little child if they would like one of those smiley face stickers, could then turn to the mom or dad and ask them if they would like an anti stupidity pill before beginning the shopping adventure. Imagine the possibilities that could come from such research.
Should Mr. Ropers successfully patent an anti stupidity pill, I might actually be able to get my wife to grocery shop with me more often. I can see it now: As we walk through the door and the greeter asks her if she would like an anti stupidity pill, my wife would simply smile back and point to me and say, "Please, Doug needs all the help he can get!"
©Summerville Journal-Scene 2006